‘I’m sorry. I really am. No one should have to live in a loveless relationship,’ I encouraged. ‘I don’t know where I’m going to go yet, or what I’m going to do. I just know I can’t live like this anymore . . .’ With that the tears welled up in her eyes, and I took her into my arms as I had not done in years. ‘You and Daddy have been so good to me all these years. And I feel like such a fool. I had to do it my way, and it failed, just failed! I feel like such a failure!’ she blubbered. ‘Sweetheart, you’re not a failure and you’re not a fool!’ ‘Yes I am. I’ve been doing it my way all these years, and I’ve been so damn stubborn and self-righteous! If I hadn’t been so stubborn, I would’ve left Sam a long time ago! ‘But I just couldn’t stand to think that you’d be able to say I was wrong to marry him! I couldn’t stand to think I’d made a mistake! I just had to prove to you that what I did was right—that it was better than what you wanted me to do! And I’ve just made myself miserable in. As a long time Mason he attends meetings frequently.When he wants to hook up, he simply calls me and we arrange to meet.He keeps my name in his cell under my male name,one of his white buddies.There's a Mc Intosh motel near my house.I check into a room there a couple of hours before Darrel to get ready.I start with a long,hot bath and shave completely,arms,underarms,legs and chest.I pat dry and do my nails,usually a bright red.This all takes 45 minutes.Then I spend another 45 putting on my make-up.My eyes are hazel so I emphasize them with dark green eyeshadow bordered in black.My lashes are also long and black.My lip-stick is bright red to match my nails.Then I begin to dress.I've brought along what Darrel likes me to wear.Black lingerie.The bra I fill with natural looking and feeling DD prosthetics.I attach my ultra sheer black stockings to a garter belt that rides just above my hips.I tuck my tiny white penis under and put on a tight red thong.Then I slip into a mid thigh black.
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